Hope in the Word "Will"

Wow! 2020 is definitely not what I would have imagined. We lost another family member in January, which is why I took another hiatus from this little ol’ blog. Earlier this month marked the one-year anniversary of losing dad. It takes time to process your grief, thoughts, and feelings. Now we all are bombarded by a world-wide crisis with the coronavirus. Everyone I know has been affected in some way or another. Our kids are home on two weeks of spring break, then most likely we will delve into the world of online learning. Personally, I am not looking forward to online learning with a 7th & 5th grader. My workplace is shut down for at least two weeks, maybe more. Hubby’s workplace is still open for now. The kiddos and I are housebound excepted for pre-scheduled doctor’s appointments. Hubby has been going to the store for us and taking supplies to my 91-year-old grandma, as needed.

All of this can be overwhelming. Some people are handling it well, and others are really struggling. Thankfully with the hurtles we have experienced in our lives, we are doing pretty good with the isolation. Our goal is to stay well during this time. As a special needs family, we have had to become pretty resilient. Things aren’t going to work out the way you have planned. As a special needs parent, sometimes you have to make very fast changes in the blink of an eye. You need to be quick on your feet and don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s hard to face change, but you will survive. We had to do the social distancing two years ago when I was going through my cancer stuff. The kids had to deal with not leaving the house except for school, they only got to hang out with family, and they did not have their birthday parties, because I couldn’t get sick. We made it through, and they survived. The bottom line is you will survive.

It will not hurt us all to stay home. It will teach us to slow down. It will teach us to appreciate what we have. It will allow us to spend quality time with those with love. It will teach us compassion. It will teach us the lost art of talking on the phone and writing letters. We will notice the small things. We will take time to savor our food. We will have a chance to rest and recharge. We will count our blessings.

In this time of uncertainty and the unknown, we need to show compassion and love to those around us. Here are some ways you can help your families, friends, and neighbors:

• Pick up the phone. Call and check on family and friends. Call and check on those who live by themselves. Take time to reach out.
• Give cheer through text. If you have family or friends in the thick of the coronavirus mania, let them know that you are thinking of them. Text them something to brighten their day.
• Volunteer to make a supply run. If you are not at high risk and feel comfortable doing so, make a supply run for someone that is not able to do so at this time. You can leave the groceries at the door or on a porch. It is possible to navigate that 6-foot distance, while still helping out.
• Get outside. If someone is unable to get out and their yard is full of sticks, with their permission volunteer to help gather them into a pile or bag them up.
• Write letters. Many people over the age of 60 enjoy writing and receiving handwritten letters. So write a letter. Have the kids create artwork. You could even include a book of stamps, so they can write you back.

Don’t forget your own mental health. Here are some ways to come out on top in the next few weeks or even months:

• Create a daily gratitude list. What happened today that you are thankful for? What made you smile today?
• Post quotes where you will see them. One of my favorites: “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.” (author unknown)
• Listen to music. Dance around while you cook or clean. Have a group dance with your kids.
• Play games with the family. We have played Trouble (the Minion version) and Clue this week.
• Read a book. Books have the power to transport you, so escape for a little while.
• Faith break. No matter what you believe, take time to focus on the higher power in your life. Read verses, meditate, or practice mindfulness. My favorite Bible verse is “Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!” Romans 11:33
• Get outside. Take a walk with your family or pet. Look for spring wildflowers. Do a scavenger hunt. Take photos of nature.
• Make comfort food. What food do you look forward to eating or drinking? What is a rare treat that would brighten your day? Right now, my comfort food is a glass of cold vanilla almond milk. My kids love the rare treat of making and eating chocolate chip banana bread.
• Get dressed and smile. If you are staying home, make sure to get dressed each day. Even if you live alone, you can smile and make funny faces at yourself in a mirror. Have fun! You will be happier for it.
• Don’t forget to get plenty of sleep. Sleep helps to keep us healthy and helps us to find the blessings in life.

Stay well, my friends. And remember you will get through this hurtle of life.

Mission: Stay Well

 

Wow! We are in cold and flu season once again. Last year, I had to perfect the art of staying well.

This past week marked the one-year anniversary of receiving my breast cancer diagnosis. In the beginning, I was of the belief that I just needed to stay well for the next biopsy or the next surgery. Little did I know that I needed to stay well for the entire winter season. That seemed like a Herculean feat, especially with how bad the cold & flu season was. My reconstruction doc put the fear of God into me during the appointments just after my first two surgeries. I learned if I got sick, even a cold, that I could get an infection in the breast expander. If that happened, the expander would need to be surgically removed, the tissue allowed months to heal, then the process would start all over again. There was no way that I wanted to try it a second time, so I became a bit of a germaphobe.

Here is how I stayed well:

1) Hand washing- I washed my hands a lot! Every time we walked into the house, I washed my hands and requested that the kids wash their hands. I washed my hands before every meal, too.

2) Sanitizing wipes- I wiped all the door knobs, light switches, handles, and remotes down a few times a week. I wiped down my desk and equipment in my office at work at least once a week (more if others were sick).

3) Hand towels- I replaced the hand towels in our house daily with a fresh one. This one is probably one of the big reasons that my whole family stayed well.

4) Gloves- Anytime that I was out in public, I kept my winter gloves on when I touched shopping carts and doors. I tried to limit my outings and did not go many places besides home, work, and doctor appointments for about 6 months.

5) Clothes washing- I washed all outerwear once a week (coats, hats, gloves, scarves) to reduce germs. I washed all the bedding in the house on a weekly basis.

6) Peppermint Tea- I drank one to two mugs of peppermint tea daily. Peppermint tea is supposed to boost your immune system. 

7) Vitamin C- I took one chewable Airborne tablet twice a day. Emergen-C is good too, but it contains soy and made me quite sick.

8) Supplements- I took JuicePlus+ fruit blend and garden blend twice a day. 

9) Neti Pot- I know this one is a scary one for many people. I used the neti pot twice a day (morning & night). I think that the saline water helps to reduce the number of germs that enter the body through the nose. 

10) Humidifier- We ran a humidifier in our bedroom at night. I tend to breath and sleep better at night with the humidifier going.

11) Sleep- Try to get plenty of sleep. Sleep is so crucial to staying well. If you do not get enough sleep, your immune system can crash.

12) Hands- Keep your hands away from your face. This one is more difficult for me. It was one technique that I had to work on.

I had a sore throat for a few days last winter in about mid-February, which made me freak out a bit. Thankfully, it turned out well. Besides that, I stayed well all winter. I would not say that my tips are the only way to go, but that is how I survived last winter. I hope that the info above helps you this winter season.

The Gift of Sleep

Sleep is so precious. One does not realize how much so until you have a streak of not enough. Sleep allows your body to recharge and to heal. Sleep is so important, especially for your mood and outlook on life.

Any parent knows that parenthood is great for disturbing sleep. I was so thankful when the kiddos started sleeping through the night as infants. You get this false sense of peaceful sleep. Your thinking "Woohoo!", then BAM. . . they get old enough to have nightmares. Nightmares and kiddos are not a good combination. The "I can't sleep in the dark" stage gets thrown in there, too. Throw ADHD into the mix and you hear "I can't go to sleep." As you lay in your bed, you are praying that the kiddos go to sleep and stay conked out through the night.

Recovering from major trauma also deprives you of quality sleep. Last year, I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer and had a single mastectomy with reconstruction. I had a total of three surgeries over a five month period. I had a crash course in sleeping on my back for months on end. Throw a freak accident foot injury into the mix and sleeping on my back was pure torture. The first few weeks after the first surgery, I couldn't even get in and out of bed without my hubby's help. Sleeping on my back would also trigger my chiari symptoms, and my neck would hurt something fierce. It was a vicious cycle. It was a good seven months before I could even attempt to sleep on my side for short spurts of time.

I'm still having problems with getting quality sleep, but I have learned quite a bit along the way. I am constantly tweaking my routine and looking for new ways to catch some quality zzz's. Here is what has helped me at various times over the past year: 

1) If you use any electronic devices, turn the blue light filter on about two hours before bedtime. On some devices you can program the start and end time. Blue light can disrupt your sleep patterns. Two years ago, I attended a conference on autism and children. They recommended using blue light filters and if you use a night light they suggested a red bulb.

2) Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. This can be difficult to start with, but is worth it in the long run. I try to be in bed by 10pm each night. If I am extremely beat, it is as early as 9pm. Then wake-up at 5:30am during the week, 6:30am on the weekends.

3) Try to block out as much light as possible. We have a small television and DVD player in the master bedroom. I cover the display lights with a bandana to block out the light. If you have a cell phone in the room, face the screen downward onto a flat surface. Turn devices to "Do Not Disturb" to silence distractions. In the winter months, we use a Vicks humidifier in the bedroom, I have yet to figure out how to block that light. Hahaha! I do strongly suggest a humidifier during the winter months, I sleep so much better with the added water particles in the air.

4) Maximize the use of pillows. Pillows come in all shapes and sizes. Make the most of them. Try to get as comfortable as possible. Warm fluffy blankets are good, too. Sometimes I bunch a blanket near my head for extra neck support when I am on my back.

5) If you are waking up feeling crummy, take a look into your mattress. Can you rotate it or flip it? Does your mattress need replaced?

6) Try restorative yoga. Over the summer I took part in a scientific study studying sleep patterns after cancer. I was randomly selected into the yoga group. I did a form a restorative yoga twice a week for six weeks. I slept better the nights that I went to yoga and I had more energy overall. It was a pretty amazing experience and I highly recommend it. Unfortunately, I have not been able to keep up on the yoga. With our current medical bills, I just can't justify in enrolling in a class. I was given a video, yoga mat, yoga strap, and instruction book. I have purchased a bolster and yoga blocks. I tried once at home, but it was difficult with our rather large labrador mix dog trying to "help me" out. I need to figure out a new game plan for this one.

7) Try mediation before drifting off to sleep. I have found a few YouTube videos that focus on yoga breathing and relaxation. I find the 10 minute videos are the right length for me.

8) Try gentle stretches in bed before you nod off. Try this routine- a) raise your eyebrows as far as you can, b) squeeze your eyelids tightly shut, c) open your mouth wide enough to stretch the hinges of your jaw (yawn), d) raise your shoulders up to touch your ears, e) tighten chest by taking a deep breath, f) suck your stomach in, g) tighten your arm muscles while clenching your hands, h) tighten your bottom, i) squeeze your leg muscles while pulling your toes upwards towards you, and j) curl your toes downward.

9) Drink a warm non-caffeinated drink before drifting off. I like peppermint tea. I also like warm vanilla milk (1 mug milk, spoon of sugar, dash of liquid vanilla- warm in microwave).

10) Essential oils are helpful. I have not explored this area too much. I like to spritz lavender linen spray on the bed sheets for a calming smell. When I have a really bad headache, I will roll peppermint oil onto my temples and behind my ears. My sister recommends also applying it to the nape of your neck, but that location does not agree with me so I skip it.

11) When the kiddos are out of routine, I will give them a small dose of melatonin (3mg to 5mg) for a few days to reestablish our bedtime routine. Unfortunately, I cannot take melatonin myself due to many over-the counter-medications containing soy as a filler. Soy flairs up my chiari symptoms, so I avoid it whenever possible.

12) When all else fails, check out Pinterest. I have found so many ideas that I have tried out.

13) For those going through reconstruction and have a breast expander, I feel for you. It is not for the faint of heart. I would never wish it upon anyone. The best way I can explain it to someone that does not know- an expander is like having an immobile football strapped to your chest. It does not move, your body has to learn to move around it. If this is you and you have an expander, alternate heat packs & ice packs and gentle massage the muscle tissue of you can handle it. Whatever you do, don't freak out in the middle of the night when you temporarily forget what you have been through and you wonder why your chest is swollen. Hang in there. It is only a short stage of your life, you will survive.

Thank you for reading my rather long ramblings. Hahaha! I honestly did not intend for this post to be so long, but sleep is oh so important. I hope that you have sweet dreams!